======Fetch Quest======

“Listen, hero. I'd just love to give you the medicine you need to save your friend. I'm a nice guy and all, and I feel your pain. But unless you bring me that sack of potatoes from Ms. Farmer's Wife over in the next town (which can only be reached by traversing a perilous cavern), I just won't have the strength to get the bottle off of the shelf for you. Sorry, no potatoes, no life-saving potion.”

…

“Hero, I'm sorry, but a bunch of bandits ran off with all of my potatoes earlier today! If you can get them back for me, I'll gladly give you a few!”

…

“Hey, punk! There's no need to get all violent. We're enterprising bandits. We'll give you back the potatoes in exchange for a worthless trinket from that town with the doctor in it. And don't even think about fighting me; I'm totally like level 20 and you're not even close. Git goin'!”

…and so on…

“Hero, I'm so glad you brought the medicine for me! Despite the fact that my disease was seemingly impendingly fatal, I have maintained the exact same condition since you left several weeks ago to begin that long chain of fetch quests added by the designer to lengthen this game! This means you have arrived just in time to save me! Hooray!”